It’s Christmastime! Houses are decorated and glowing, trees are twinkling and stores are filled with music. It seems to lend itself to those who are sentimental, nostalgic and okay, sappy in nature. That would be me! We bake the same cookies every year and all of us in the family agree it wouldn’t be Christmas without them. Our Christmas breakfast will consist of the same menu that it has always been and we spend a lot of time looking back over Christmases past. It is a time of remembering. But isn’t that what Christmas really is? Remembering that,” there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.”
When our children were young, we wanted to do things that would remind them that Christmas was about the baby in a manger who is our Savior. One of the things we used was an Advent wreath. It was a very simple wreath with five candles. Each candle represented a part of the Christmas story leading up to the birth of Christ. There was a Prophet’s candle, Bethlehem candle, Shepherd’s candle, Angel’s candle, and the one in the center was the Christ candle. On each Sunday leading up to Christmas we would light one candle and Jim would read that part of the story. When God led us to the Ozarks and to our first church, we took the Advent wreath. It became apart of our worship as the church would gather on those December mornings. I can still see the children running up to Jim after Sunday school asking who was going to light the candle that Sunday. I have such treasured memories of our own children around our table and the children of that sweet country church at Christmas time around the advent wreath.
Advent is the anticipation and celebration of the arrival of our Christ. And just as I witnessed children circled around a wreath, it is us turning our focus and desiring our lives to circle around Him, as we remember Him coming to earth as a baby to rescue sinners. To rescue me! I have attempted to do this through the years that have been void of an advent wreath on our table and little children to constantly remind what Christmas is really about. I read through the prophesies of the coming Messiah in the Old Testament and Luke’s account of Mary and Joseph, shepherds, angels and a baby in the manger. I ask God to allow the words to be fresh again and that I will not just read them like a story that I have memorized but that He will give me new eyes and nuggets of truth.
This week as I read the names of our Messiah in Isaiah, I was amazed as I thought through who He really is. “His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father and Prince of Peace.” The world and many around offer counsel; He knew we needed the Wonderful Counselor. Little gods abound and give no strength or power; He knew we needed a Mighty God. This life and most of what is in it is temporary and offers no security; He knew we needed an Eternal Father. Most of the places that we seek peace have no authority and are fleeting; He knew we needed the Prince of Peace. He promised to meet all of our needs. They were and are and will be met in Jesus! May we remember.
Oh Come Let Us Adore Him….
Isaiah 9:6, Philippians 4:19
Drinking From The Saucer by Kim Day
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Saturday, December 3, 2011
In His Hands
She calls me, “my momma D” and I call her “my Bella Boo”. I am convinced her sole reason for being given to us is to steal my heart. She will turn three in a couple of weeks and with that comes so many things that come with being two-almost-three. She loves pretend play; in fact I’m pretty sure Buzz Light-year, Woody, and Jesse were all at our table at some point over the Thanksgiving holiday. She loves books, running, and singing….and….I love her! She is also at the point in her little toddler life that she loves to assert her independence. I heard often the words, “I do it by self, Momma D”. Now, I know she meant to say, I will do it myself, but when you’re two-almost-three, your sentences kind of come out in code and it is up to the adults around you to figure it out! On one such occasion we were about to cross a busy street, Jill had the baby and multiple other things in her hands, so she said to Bella, “take Momma D’s hand”. Bella looked at me, crossed her arms across her chest and said….you guessed it, “I do it by self, Momma D.” Which I just responded, "not this time,sweetie", grabbed her chubby hand and crossed the street. I kind of giggled to myself as I thought about my daughter raising this little strong-willed, brown eyed, delight. She was not ugly or throwing a fit as she stated her independence, just very confident that she was capable and strong enough for the task. I know the type, I have raised one myself, and to be completely honest, I am one myself! God has shown me over and over how I always try to be the strong one and am convinced that with the right planning, surly I will be capable enough to pull off or fix whatever is necessary. WARNING: This is a lie, it does not work, and should not be attempted at home…or any place for that matter!
As I grabbed Bella’s hand that day, a story that I was told years ago came to my mind. Jim and I knew an elderly pastor that visited our church when we were first
In this season that I find myself in I am in control of nothing and I cannot plan the next step. Not one part of it plays to my strengths and my weaknesses are glaring like a flashing neon sign! How often have I looked at my heavenly Father and said,” I do it by self.” Oh that I would let my hands, plans, and weaknesses disappear in His hand and find rest in the fact that the Blessed Controller of all things has me in His hands.
John 10:27-30, Psalm 37:23-24
As I grabbed Bella’s hand that day, a story that I was told years ago came to my mind. Jim and I knew an elderly pastor that visited our church when we were first
In this season that I find myself in I am in control of nothing and I cannot plan the next step. Not one part of it plays to my strengths and my weaknesses are glaring like a flashing neon sign! How often have I looked at my heavenly Father and said,” I do it by self.” Oh that I would let my hands, plans, and weaknesses disappear in His hand and find rest in the fact that the Blessed Controller of all things has me in His hands.
John 10:27-30, Psalm 37:23-24
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Gratitude
Colossians 2: 6-7
“As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitudee.”
Overflowing with gratitude….the words stick out to me in the middle of this very deep and rich letter to the Colossian church. I’m sure most have heard the little rhyme, “have an attitude of gratitude”. But to overflow with gratitude is much more than an attitude; it is the act of being grateful. To audibly say thank you and to physically be gracious because you are thankful. I once heard a person state; that they had never seen a grateful teenager rebel. I made it an observation of mine to watch and see if it proved to be true with teenagers I worked with and with my own two children as they were growing up. It did! The real truth the Father has taught me through the observation is that the statement is true for all of us, no matter what season of life we find ourselves in. When I am ungrateful, I am saying that I am entitled to something or that I deserve something different or better. When my children were growing up, this scene played out multiple times; you know the one…someone gives your child something, your breath catches in your mom throat and thoughts race through your head like, “what will they say or what will they do?” Inevitably what comes out of your mom mouth is, “what do you say?” With your voice raising slightly at the end of the phrase so your child knows that they better say, “Thank you!” Teaching our children to be thankful is not a bad thing, it’s a good thing! But I wonder if that translates into our adult lives and into our Christian walk as a response that is expected of us. I don’t think God wants a learned response from us, I think He desires a heart overflowing with gratitude. I’ve been asking Him to do this work in me. I realize that I have no ability on my own to accomplish it! I wonder too, is this the disconnect? We often, like little children, know what our response should be and how we should act but I don’t think it always flows from an honest heart that is ultimately responsive to our God and the work He has done in our lives. On most days I need a perspective shift; I need my perspective to be swallowed up by His. I am convinced that gratitude is the key that unlocks this door. Gratitude allows me to perceive Him more clearly and enables me to see His hand and my circumstances as He sees them.
“Oh Lord, show me what it means to come to the table of thanksgiving daily and cultivate in me overflowing gratitude.”
“As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitudee.”
Overflowing with gratitude….the words stick out to me in the middle of this very deep and rich letter to the Colossian church. I’m sure most have heard the little rhyme, “have an attitude of gratitude”. But to overflow with gratitude is much more than an attitude; it is the act of being grateful. To audibly say thank you and to physically be gracious because you are thankful. I once heard a person state; that they had never seen a grateful teenager rebel. I made it an observation of mine to watch and see if it proved to be true with teenagers I worked with and with my own two children as they were growing up. It did! The real truth the Father has taught me through the observation is that the statement is true for all of us, no matter what season of life we find ourselves in. When I am ungrateful, I am saying that I am entitled to something or that I deserve something different or better. When my children were growing up, this scene played out multiple times; you know the one…someone gives your child something, your breath catches in your mom throat and thoughts race through your head like, “what will they say or what will they do?” Inevitably what comes out of your mom mouth is, “what do you say?” With your voice raising slightly at the end of the phrase so your child knows that they better say, “Thank you!” Teaching our children to be thankful is not a bad thing, it’s a good thing! But I wonder if that translates into our adult lives and into our Christian walk as a response that is expected of us. I don’t think God wants a learned response from us, I think He desires a heart overflowing with gratitude. I’ve been asking Him to do this work in me. I realize that I have no ability on my own to accomplish it! I wonder too, is this the disconnect? We often, like little children, know what our response should be and how we should act but I don’t think it always flows from an honest heart that is ultimately responsive to our God and the work He has done in our lives. On most days I need a perspective shift; I need my perspective to be swallowed up by His. I am convinced that gratitude is the key that unlocks this door. Gratitude allows me to perceive Him more clearly and enables me to see His hand and my circumstances as He sees them.
“Oh Lord, show me what it means to come to the table of thanksgiving daily and cultivate in me overflowing gratitude.”
Monday, November 14, 2011
Come To The Table
It’s that time of year, when we think about getting with family and friends to celebrate the holidays. Time to gather with those we cherish; family, old friends, and hopefully new friends. The place of gathering in our home is the table and it is very dear to me. I think about family and friends seated around my table as we enjoy good food, conversation, and laughter. The best part is when the dessert has been served, along with the coffee, and the lingering begins. We linger because of the pure enjoyment of being in the presence of those gathered around the table.
When guests are coming, I spend hours and days in preparation. I decide what dishes and glasses I will use. I think through table linens and their colors, whether or not to use candles and or flowers. Then I plan the menu and think about those that will gather. Thought goes into if anyone has food allergies or a dislike of certain foods. I desire to make everyone feel comfortable and welcomed. Then my favorite part, when all are gathered and seated we link hands and bow our heads in thanks. When we say, “Amen”, I often ask the Lord to help us to slow down and to hit the pause button for the moments that we have together. I pray also that the people seated will take a deep breath and allow the feeling of belonging to wrap around them like a warm quilt on a winter’s day. I think we all desire the feeling of belonging and being invited to a table.
When I look at God’s word I see the importance that God puts on the table. The table represents communion, relationship, and intimacy. All the way back in the tabernacle in the wilderness there was a table, where the Bread of Presence was placed. It represented God being the Sustainer of life and His desired fellowship with man. It was at a table that Jesus spent some of his final hours with His disciples in an effort to show the full extent of His love. It is to a table that all who have been redeemed are invited as we join our Bridegroom at the marriage feast. Has it always been about the table and has the Father been planning this gathering of His children around His table since the garden? I am sure I have not the imagination to guess at how grand and wonderful that table will be. My mind fills with questions and dances like a child waiting for Christmas morning when I think about it.
The table and it’s beauty reflect everything that I love to think and dream about. The preparation for the table has included sacrifice and suffering. The invitation that has been extended has been embossed with ink that is colored red. No one knows whether there will be china or crystal or what kind of food will be served. One thing I do know, there will be lingering, much lingering, as we drink up being in the presence of our Host. Since He is the Bread of Life and the Living Water just being face to face with Him at the table may be the most sufficient feast we could ever desire. Thoughts so delicious, I can hardly take them in!
“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Corinthians 2:9 NLT
Exodus 25:23-30, John 13, Revelation 19:9
When guests are coming, I spend hours and days in preparation. I decide what dishes and glasses I will use. I think through table linens and their colors, whether or not to use candles and or flowers. Then I plan the menu and think about those that will gather. Thought goes into if anyone has food allergies or a dislike of certain foods. I desire to make everyone feel comfortable and welcomed. Then my favorite part, when all are gathered and seated we link hands and bow our heads in thanks. When we say, “Amen”, I often ask the Lord to help us to slow down and to hit the pause button for the moments that we have together. I pray also that the people seated will take a deep breath and allow the feeling of belonging to wrap around them like a warm quilt on a winter’s day. I think we all desire the feeling of belonging and being invited to a table.
When I look at God’s word I see the importance that God puts on the table. The table represents communion, relationship, and intimacy. All the way back in the tabernacle in the wilderness there was a table, where the Bread of Presence was placed. It represented God being the Sustainer of life and His desired fellowship with man. It was at a table that Jesus spent some of his final hours with His disciples in an effort to show the full extent of His love. It is to a table that all who have been redeemed are invited as we join our Bridegroom at the marriage feast. Has it always been about the table and has the Father been planning this gathering of His children around His table since the garden? I am sure I have not the imagination to guess at how grand and wonderful that table will be. My mind fills with questions and dances like a child waiting for Christmas morning when I think about it.
The table and it’s beauty reflect everything that I love to think and dream about. The preparation for the table has included sacrifice and suffering. The invitation that has been extended has been embossed with ink that is colored red. No one knows whether there will be china or crystal or what kind of food will be served. One thing I do know, there will be lingering, much lingering, as we drink up being in the presence of our Host. Since He is the Bread of Life and the Living Water just being face to face with Him at the table may be the most sufficient feast we could ever desire. Thoughts so delicious, I can hardly take them in!
“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Corinthians 2:9 NLT
Exodus 25:23-30, John 13, Revelation 19:9
Monday, November 7, 2011
Strength and Dignity Are Her Clothing
I called her, Petunia, because she was sweet and delicate and she loved to sit and soak up the sun. She was my grandmother, a woman of powerful influence in my life. It has been a little over a week since I said goodbye and as I have processed the last weeks of her life, I realize she taught in her passing the same things that she taught in her living. That faith matters most, family is like a living baton as we pass our influence from one generation to the next, always put others before you, and be thankful for all things.
For the past twelve years she has lived in a body that was not her own. Stroke came crashing into her life, and in a moment her life was to never be the same. She approached these last years like all the rest, with strength and dignity. She had a resiliency and resolve about her that many from her generation have. I think it is living through the depression, wars, and simply hacking out life because nothing was handed to them. I have read some of her writings as she unashamedly declared many times she didn’t think she would make it, but the Lord strengthened her and His faithfulness sustained her. After checking her into the hospital because she had not been feeling well for several weeks, we thought we were dealing routine things. Then I received a phone call from her doctor. He had found cancer and it was widespread. My mom and aunt hurried to get here so that we could all be together to share the diagnosis with her. The doctor said that nothing could be done. Grandmother got very quiet and began processing. I could see her soft brown eyes and I knew she was thinking. The next day came and more talks with the doctor and assurance to her that we were here and were going to walk this out with her. In one of the quiet moments of the evening, she and I were talking and she said, “Maybe He is ready for me”. I choked back tears and honestly answered, “Yes, Grandma, I think He is. Maybe we are looking at this cancer all wrong, maybe it’s your invitation.” She said, “Maybe so, I think that is a good way to look at it”. With the same resolve I watched her take multiple times throughout her life, I watched her take again. She spoke openly about seeing Jesus and what a day that would be. There were no tears, no anxiousness, just peace and a quiet resolve.
At her going home service, my husband had the privilege of honoring grandmother. He opened his bible and read Psalm 31: 10-31, I had no idea he was sharing that scripture but one by one he read the phrases and my heart would say, yes, she lived that. “Her worth is far above jewels”, my grandpa thought so and so did most who came in contact with her. “She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight.” Grandmother was an excellent seamstress and loved to crochet and do anything with her hands. “She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household” The woman could cook! She hadn’t cooked a thing in twelve years and people still talk about her cooking. But more than that, she cared for her family and we are all blessed because of it. She looked well to the ways of her household, always putting us above herself. That was demonstrated to me so clearly only days after her stroke. She was paralyzed on one side, couldn’t speak yet, and didn’t even have muscle function to open her eyes. I was beside her bed telling her that some of the family would be returning to see her on the weekend. She made a writing motion in the air; I asked if she wanted to write, she nodded. I placed a pen in her hand and a pad of paper under it. She then began to write a grocery list that I was to send grandpa to the store to get, so that her family would be fed in her absence! “She extends her hand to the poor and stretches out her hands to the needy.” They lived on the outskirts of town and hobos, as they were called in the day, would stop by asking for something to eat. It is said that grandmother would never turn them away. She would tell them to sit down on the porch, disappear into the house, only to return with something to eat and if she had it, a sandwich for them to eat later. When asked why she always did that, she responded, “some have entertained angels unaware” or “what if the Lord was passing by and I refused Him”. I can remember as a little girl going to the grocery store with her and then watching her take the groceries up to someone’s porch while I sat in the car. She never rang the doorbell or knocked, just put the sacks on the porch and came back to the car. She asserted that they needed the groceries more than they needed to know who they came from.
Was she perfect? No. Did she make mistakes? Absolutely. I am sure the Proverbs 31 woman wasn’t perfect and made mistakes also. What we read I believe is the culmination of this woman’s life. Much like what we celebrated with my grandmother’s life. The measure of one’s life isn’t the great acts we do or the big moments, they do factor in; but, the real measure of a life is the daily faithfulness in the small, the devotion to the Lord and His priorities. “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.” I want to live that!
I thank God for my grandmother, for her influence, for her teaching in life and in death.
“Her children rise up and bless her…….charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”
For the past twelve years she has lived in a body that was not her own. Stroke came crashing into her life, and in a moment her life was to never be the same. She approached these last years like all the rest, with strength and dignity. She had a resiliency and resolve about her that many from her generation have. I think it is living through the depression, wars, and simply hacking out life because nothing was handed to them. I have read some of her writings as she unashamedly declared many times she didn’t think she would make it, but the Lord strengthened her and His faithfulness sustained her. After checking her into the hospital because she had not been feeling well for several weeks, we thought we were dealing routine things. Then I received a phone call from her doctor. He had found cancer and it was widespread. My mom and aunt hurried to get here so that we could all be together to share the diagnosis with her. The doctor said that nothing could be done. Grandmother got very quiet and began processing. I could see her soft brown eyes and I knew she was thinking. The next day came and more talks with the doctor and assurance to her that we were here and were going to walk this out with her. In one of the quiet moments of the evening, she and I were talking and she said, “Maybe He is ready for me”. I choked back tears and honestly answered, “Yes, Grandma, I think He is. Maybe we are looking at this cancer all wrong, maybe it’s your invitation.” She said, “Maybe so, I think that is a good way to look at it”. With the same resolve I watched her take multiple times throughout her life, I watched her take again. She spoke openly about seeing Jesus and what a day that would be. There were no tears, no anxiousness, just peace and a quiet resolve.
At her going home service, my husband had the privilege of honoring grandmother. He opened his bible and read Psalm 31: 10-31, I had no idea he was sharing that scripture but one by one he read the phrases and my heart would say, yes, she lived that. “Her worth is far above jewels”, my grandpa thought so and so did most who came in contact with her. “She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight.” Grandmother was an excellent seamstress and loved to crochet and do anything with her hands. “She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household” The woman could cook! She hadn’t cooked a thing in twelve years and people still talk about her cooking. But more than that, she cared for her family and we are all blessed because of it. She looked well to the ways of her household, always putting us above herself. That was demonstrated to me so clearly only days after her stroke. She was paralyzed on one side, couldn’t speak yet, and didn’t even have muscle function to open her eyes. I was beside her bed telling her that some of the family would be returning to see her on the weekend. She made a writing motion in the air; I asked if she wanted to write, she nodded. I placed a pen in her hand and a pad of paper under it. She then began to write a grocery list that I was to send grandpa to the store to get, so that her family would be fed in her absence! “She extends her hand to the poor and stretches out her hands to the needy.” They lived on the outskirts of town and hobos, as they were called in the day, would stop by asking for something to eat. It is said that grandmother would never turn them away. She would tell them to sit down on the porch, disappear into the house, only to return with something to eat and if she had it, a sandwich for them to eat later. When asked why she always did that, she responded, “some have entertained angels unaware” or “what if the Lord was passing by and I refused Him”. I can remember as a little girl going to the grocery store with her and then watching her take the groceries up to someone’s porch while I sat in the car. She never rang the doorbell or knocked, just put the sacks on the porch and came back to the car. She asserted that they needed the groceries more than they needed to know who they came from.
Was she perfect? No. Did she make mistakes? Absolutely. I am sure the Proverbs 31 woman wasn’t perfect and made mistakes also. What we read I believe is the culmination of this woman’s life. Much like what we celebrated with my grandmother’s life. The measure of one’s life isn’t the great acts we do or the big moments, they do factor in; but, the real measure of a life is the daily faithfulness in the small, the devotion to the Lord and His priorities. “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.” I want to live that!
I thank God for my grandmother, for her influence, for her teaching in life and in death.
“Her children rise up and bless her…….charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Speak Tenderly
Speak Tenderly
The other day while visiting at the nursing home, a new patient was wheeled into the main room to listen to the music we had all gathered to hear. She obviously had suffered a stroke and it had left her body in a terrible state. By looking at her face, I could tell she was once a beautiful woman. She had dark eyes, high cheek bones, small features, and a petite frame. I wondered what she was like before the cruel word of stroke had invaded her life. She was left paralyzed on one side and had lost the ability to speak. On this day, when I looked deep into her eyes, I saw fear. Her head moved from side to side and her mouth moved, but no sound came out. As someone would pass by her, I would see her raise her only moveable hand to grasp at them, all to no avail. My heart ached for her. Was she crying out for help in a voice that only she could hear? Every once in a while a nurse would stop, speak to her, then pat her hand. Efforts that did not seem to satisfy as she continued to twitch, speak with no words, and move her head from side to side. All the while, fear poured out of her deep brown eyes.
A man walked into the room. He was a stately gentleman, tall, with white hair. He was the type of man whose presence commanded attention just by entering a room. I wondered to myself, who might he be looking for? He found her, his eyes never left her face as he walked across the room and came to the side of the woman I had been watching. He bent down and took her hand, then said, “Good morning, darling, how is my bride today?” Her expression completely changed, she stopped twitching and moving from side to side. He got very close to her and kissed her on the mouth. He knelt by her chair and continued speaking to her. He spoke into her ear, in tones so low only she could hear. As he spoke, one hand grasped her free hand, while the other stroked her face and hair. The fear faded from her eyes and all the tenseness dissipated as she breathed deeply and with peace. Then, with all the effort her almost motionless body could exert, she leaned her head and face into his hand that was stroking her face. It was her only movement to receive his love; her conscience awareness of his nearness and the desire to embrace his affections.
My heart was torn into pieces as I watched this scene play out before my eyes. My thoughts ran to scripture. I thought of Hosea and how the Lord said that He would lure His bride to the wilderness and speak tenderly to her there. Stroke and the life, or should I say the lack of life, that flows from it, could definitely be described as a wilderness.
And there her bridegroom was speaking tenderly to her. I thought about my own wildernesses and how my heavenly Bridegroom has always been faithful to meet me there, to lead, guide, and speak. I too have been paralyzed multiple times on this journey. I have been paralyzed with sin. Life has left me wrecked,distorted, and fearful, yet the nearness of my Bridegroom brings peace as He floods my life with His grace and forgiveness. My flailing, reaching, and restlessness are stilled as He seems to stroke my life with healing and truth. All fear is cast out as I experience His perfect love being poured into my life. Comfort cascades as I lean into Him and He speaks tenderly to me, calling me by name, calling me His own.
Hosea 2:14-15, I John 4:18, Psalm 73:28, Isaiah 43:1
The other day while visiting at the nursing home, a new patient was wheeled into the main room to listen to the music we had all gathered to hear. She obviously had suffered a stroke and it had left her body in a terrible state. By looking at her face, I could tell she was once a beautiful woman. She had dark eyes, high cheek bones, small features, and a petite frame. I wondered what she was like before the cruel word of stroke had invaded her life. She was left paralyzed on one side and had lost the ability to speak. On this day, when I looked deep into her eyes, I saw fear. Her head moved from side to side and her mouth moved, but no sound came out. As someone would pass by her, I would see her raise her only moveable hand to grasp at them, all to no avail. My heart ached for her. Was she crying out for help in a voice that only she could hear? Every once in a while a nurse would stop, speak to her, then pat her hand. Efforts that did not seem to satisfy as she continued to twitch, speak with no words, and move her head from side to side. All the while, fear poured out of her deep brown eyes.
A man walked into the room. He was a stately gentleman, tall, with white hair. He was the type of man whose presence commanded attention just by entering a room. I wondered to myself, who might he be looking for? He found her, his eyes never left her face as he walked across the room and came to the side of the woman I had been watching. He bent down and took her hand, then said, “Good morning, darling, how is my bride today?” Her expression completely changed, she stopped twitching and moving from side to side. He got very close to her and kissed her on the mouth. He knelt by her chair and continued speaking to her. He spoke into her ear, in tones so low only she could hear. As he spoke, one hand grasped her free hand, while the other stroked her face and hair. The fear faded from her eyes and all the tenseness dissipated as she breathed deeply and with peace. Then, with all the effort her almost motionless body could exert, she leaned her head and face into his hand that was stroking her face. It was her only movement to receive his love; her conscience awareness of his nearness and the desire to embrace his affections.
My heart was torn into pieces as I watched this scene play out before my eyes. My thoughts ran to scripture. I thought of Hosea and how the Lord said that He would lure His bride to the wilderness and speak tenderly to her there. Stroke and the life, or should I say the lack of life, that flows from it, could definitely be described as a wilderness.
And there her bridegroom was speaking tenderly to her. I thought about my own wildernesses and how my heavenly Bridegroom has always been faithful to meet me there, to lead, guide, and speak. I too have been paralyzed multiple times on this journey. I have been paralyzed with sin. Life has left me wrecked,distorted, and fearful, yet the nearness of my Bridegroom brings peace as He floods my life with His grace and forgiveness. My flailing, reaching, and restlessness are stilled as He seems to stroke my life with healing and truth. All fear is cast out as I experience His perfect love being poured into my life. Comfort cascades as I lean into Him and He speaks tenderly to me, calling me by name, calling me His own.
Hosea 2:14-15, I John 4:18, Psalm 73:28, Isaiah 43:1
Monday, October 10, 2011
The Wait
The Wait
Psalm 27:14 "Wait upon the Lord. Be strong and let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for the Lord."
In the culture we live in, waiting is equated with futile and useless activity. We think that if we have to wait we must be resolving ourselves to nothingness and therefore it is a waste of time. We do everything we can to get into the shortest check-out line at the grocery store, we maneuver our cars at stoplights so that when the light turns green our wait will be shorter. We microwave everything! I even saw roast, potatoes, and carrots in the frozen food section of the grocery store a few weeks ago! The package had the audacity to have the words, "Slow Roasted", in bold print. To this cook, a roast in a bag in the frozen food section that can be on the table in seven minutes, is highly suspect! We microwave because we believe we don't have time to wait for normal cooking time. I think that often we have applied this same mentality to our spiritual lives, desiring to have a microwavable relationship with the Lord. When we realize, (like a good roast!) that it is going to be a slow cooker recipe, we decide on our own plan and agenda, then step out and ask God to bless it. I know that I have done this multiple times in my life. Still today, I am prone to my "come up with a plan", "work the plan", "get it done", mind set.
I am convinced that the biggest part of our lives are spent in waiting. In my own life I have waited for many things; for a season of life, for people, for answers, for direction, for a situation or circumstance to change, and the list could go on. Often, even after praying about these waits, I still found myself anxious and burdened. The problem has come when I make the object or focus of my wait, a phone call, a meeting, a change of circumstance or whatever it is I think I so desperately need. Scripture tells me over and over to "wait on the Lord". He is to be my focus and the object of my wait. I am told that in the wait He will allow me to gain new strength. This waiting is to have an expectation and hope tied to it. Not for some circumstance to change or someone to come through, but a hope and an expectation that is firmly rooted in the Lord Himself. The hope is that He is the blessed Controller of all things, that He has a plan, that He spoke the worlds into existence, so surely Kim's life is manageable! The expectation is rooted in the fact that He loves me, He is faithful, and He is always working things together for my good. I believe that He lovingly draws me into relationships and situations that cause me to seek Him and to wait on Him because I realize I am utterly helpless to change anything!
Presently, I am in a time of waiting. A "life waiting room", if you will. After 23 years of raising a family and following the Lord in ministry, we find ourselves back in the place where Jim and I were raised and most of our family lives. In June we left our place of ministry with only a few things in our pockets, a confidence that the Lord had said to go, a promise of His provision, and the knowledge we were to return to Oklahoma. In my mind I thought that it would be a short season and surely by August God would have spoken to us and given us an answer and direction. As the leaves are beginning to change and the north wind is blowing, I am reminded that our God is not confined by time or space and certainly not my calendar. I am choosing daily, really some days moment by moment, to not make the object of my wait, a meeting, a phone call, or an email that might have some determining factor in my future. But, to wait on the Lord, to make Him the focus of my wait, for He alone holds my present and my future. He alone gets to determine the length of the wait and the outcome. In the wait He reveals Himself! Everything else that I think I'm waiting for pales in comparison of finding Him in the wait.
My eyes are on You, My God, as a slave girl watches her master for the slightest of move and signal. (Psalm 123)
Isaiah 64:4, Psalm 25:3, Isaiah 40:28-31, Isaiah 26:8
Psalm 27:14 "Wait upon the Lord. Be strong and let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for the Lord."
In the culture we live in, waiting is equated with futile and useless activity. We think that if we have to wait we must be resolving ourselves to nothingness and therefore it is a waste of time. We do everything we can to get into the shortest check-out line at the grocery store, we maneuver our cars at stoplights so that when the light turns green our wait will be shorter. We microwave everything! I even saw roast, potatoes, and carrots in the frozen food section of the grocery store a few weeks ago! The package had the audacity to have the words, "Slow Roasted", in bold print. To this cook, a roast in a bag in the frozen food section that can be on the table in seven minutes, is highly suspect! We microwave because we believe we don't have time to wait for normal cooking time. I think that often we have applied this same mentality to our spiritual lives, desiring to have a microwavable relationship with the Lord. When we realize, (like a good roast!) that it is going to be a slow cooker recipe, we decide on our own plan and agenda, then step out and ask God to bless it. I know that I have done this multiple times in my life. Still today, I am prone to my "come up with a plan", "work the plan", "get it done", mind set.
I am convinced that the biggest part of our lives are spent in waiting. In my own life I have waited for many things; for a season of life, for people, for answers, for direction, for a situation or circumstance to change, and the list could go on. Often, even after praying about these waits, I still found myself anxious and burdened. The problem has come when I make the object or focus of my wait, a phone call, a meeting, a change of circumstance or whatever it is I think I so desperately need. Scripture tells me over and over to "wait on the Lord". He is to be my focus and the object of my wait. I am told that in the wait He will allow me to gain new strength. This waiting is to have an expectation and hope tied to it. Not for some circumstance to change or someone to come through, but a hope and an expectation that is firmly rooted in the Lord Himself. The hope is that He is the blessed Controller of all things, that He has a plan, that He spoke the worlds into existence, so surely Kim's life is manageable! The expectation is rooted in the fact that He loves me, He is faithful, and He is always working things together for my good. I believe that He lovingly draws me into relationships and situations that cause me to seek Him and to wait on Him because I realize I am utterly helpless to change anything!
Presently, I am in a time of waiting. A "life waiting room", if you will. After 23 years of raising a family and following the Lord in ministry, we find ourselves back in the place where Jim and I were raised and most of our family lives. In June we left our place of ministry with only a few things in our pockets, a confidence that the Lord had said to go, a promise of His provision, and the knowledge we were to return to Oklahoma. In my mind I thought that it would be a short season and surely by August God would have spoken to us and given us an answer and direction. As the leaves are beginning to change and the north wind is blowing, I am reminded that our God is not confined by time or space and certainly not my calendar. I am choosing daily, really some days moment by moment, to not make the object of my wait, a meeting, a phone call, or an email that might have some determining factor in my future. But, to wait on the Lord, to make Him the focus of my wait, for He alone holds my present and my future. He alone gets to determine the length of the wait and the outcome. In the wait He reveals Himself! Everything else that I think I'm waiting for pales in comparison of finding Him in the wait.
My eyes are on You, My God, as a slave girl watches her master for the slightest of move and signal. (Psalm 123)
Isaiah 64:4, Psalm 25:3, Isaiah 40:28-31, Isaiah 26:8
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Drinking from the saucer is something I saw as I was growing up. I visited my grandparents often on their farm and was a frequent visitor on Sundays for lunch after church. When it was time for dessert the coffee pot would be placed on the table. My grandparent's cups would be in a saucer, really a shallow bowl. They would pour the hot coffee in their cups until it would almost be at the top, they would then begin to put spoonfuls of sugar in their cups and begin stirring. The sugar would be followed by cream, all of which was more than their cups could hold and the contents would flow over the sides and into the saucers below. They would then take their cups out, wipe them off and set them on the table, reach for the saucer and tip it up to their lips and drink the sweet creamy concoction that had overflowed their cup. As a child sometimes they would pass the saucer to me and that would be "my coffee". I remember how this would delight me, partly because it made me feel so grown up to be sitting at the table drinking coffee with all of the grown-ups and partly because I loved the sweet creamy brown stuff in the saucer. I'm sure this is what secured my love for coffee to this day!
The Lord has used this picture of drinking from the saucer often in my life. Once He pursues us and captures us, this Christian life is a constant sanctification process of becoming a vessel, a cup if you will, that He may pour into and overflow His life through. I am convicted how often I have not been a willing participant in this process. It is my choice to be a vessel that is open, sensitive, and receptive or one that is closed and calloused. Becoming thirsty and learning where to go to get filled is all a part also of this journey. When I am not receptive and callous I run to others and other things to get filled, they always leave me unsatisfied and feeling empty. I am convinced more than ever that the true marks of maturity in this Christian life are not being able to proclaim that; "I have learned this" or "I have this lesson down", all in the attempt to give the appearance that we have "arrived". But the true marks are that I recognize my need for Him, my Living Water, more quickly and that I run to Him more swiftly to fill me. Only before Him do I find the satisfaction my soul craves. The filling that is sweet and between Him and me, the intimacy of our relationship. What He uses in the those that are around me is the overflow, the splashes that come from a cup that is so filled to overflowing that the contents must spill over the sides. The sweet concoction that comes is Him, the sweetness of Him, and His fruit. It has nothing to do with me, in fact "I" mess the concoction up every time! My prayer must be; Lord, empty me of me and fill me to over-flowing, that the splashes of my life will be You and show me how to become a living drink offering as I walk the journey You have marked out for me.
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