Strength and Dignity Are Her Clothing

I called her, Petunia, because she was sweet and delicate and she loved to sit and soak up the sun. She was my grandmother, a woman of powerful influence in my life. It has been a little over a week since I said goodbye and as I have processed the last weeks of her life, I realize she taught in her passing the same things that she taught in her living. That faith matters most, family is like a living baton as we pass our influence from one generation to the next, always put others before you, and be thankful for all things.

For the past twelve years she has lived in a body that was not her own. Stroke came crashing into her life, and in a moment her life was to never be the same. She approached these last years like all the rest, with strength and dignity. She had a resiliency and resolve about her that many from her generation have. I think it is living through the depression, wars, and simply hacking out life because nothing was handed to them. I have read some of her writings as she unashamedly declared many times she didn’t think she would make it, but the Lord strengthened her and His faithfulness sustained her. After checking her into the hospital because she had not been feeling well for several weeks, we thought we were dealing routine things. Then I received a phone call from her doctor. He had found cancer and it was widespread. My mom and aunt hurried to get here so that we could all be together to share the diagnosis with her. The doctor said that nothing could be done. Grandmother got very quiet and began processing. I could see her soft brown eyes and I knew she was thinking. The next day came and more talks with the doctor and assurance to her that we were here and were going to walk this out with her. In one of the quiet moments of the evening, she and I were talking and she said, “Maybe He is ready for me”. I choked back tears and honestly answered, “Yes, Grandma, I think He is. Maybe we are looking at this cancer all wrong, maybe it’s your invitation.” She said, “Maybe so, I think that is a good way to look at it”. With the same resolve I watched her take multiple times throughout her life, I watched her take again. She spoke openly about seeing Jesus and what a day that would be. There were no tears, no anxiousness, just peace and a quiet resolve.

At her going home service, my husband had the privilege of honoring grandmother. He opened his bible and read Psalm 31: 10-31, I had no idea he was sharing that scripture but one by one he read the phrases and my heart would say, yes, she lived that. “Her worth is far above jewels”, my grandpa thought so and so did most who came in contact with her. “She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight.” Grandmother was an excellent seamstress and loved to crochet and do anything with her hands. “She rises also while it is still night and gives food to her household” The woman could cook! She hadn’t cooked a thing in twelve years and people still talk about her cooking. But more than that, she cared for her family and we are all blessed because of it. She looked well to the ways of her household, always putting us above herself. That was demonstrated to me so clearly only days after her stroke. She was paralyzed on one side, couldn’t speak yet, and didn’t even have muscle function to open her eyes. I was beside her bed telling her that some of the family would be returning to see her on the weekend. She made a writing motion in the air; I asked if she wanted to write, she nodded. I placed a pen in her hand and a pad of paper under it. She then began to write a grocery list that I was to send grandpa to the store to get, so that her family would be fed in her absence! “She extends her hand to the poor and stretches out her hands to the needy.” They lived on the outskirts of town and hobos, as they were called in the day, would stop by asking for something to eat. It is said that grandmother would never turn them away. She would tell them to sit down on the porch, disappear into the house, only to return with something to eat and if she had it, a sandwich for them to eat later. When asked why she always did that, she responded, “some have entertained angels unaware” or “what if the Lord was passing by and I refused Him”. I can remember as a little girl going to the grocery store with her and then watching her take the groceries up to someone’s porch while I sat in the car. She never rang the doorbell or knocked, just put the sacks on the porch and came back to the car. She asserted that they needed the groceries more than they needed to know who they came from.

Was she perfect? No. Did she make mistakes? Absolutely. I am sure the Proverbs 31 woman wasn’t perfect and made mistakes also. What we read I believe is the culmination of this woman’s life. Much like what we celebrated with my grandmother’s life. The measure of one’s life isn’t the great acts we do or the big moments, they do factor in; but, the real measure of a life is the daily faithfulness in the small, the devotion to the Lord and His priorities. “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.” I want to live that!

I thank God for my grandmother, for her influence, for her teaching in life and in death.

“Her children rise up and bless her…….charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”