Sifted, Stripped, and Pruned

They had just had dinner together.  All of them must had been sensing the heaviness, Jesus saying he was going to suffer and not eat or drink this meal again until the kingdom of God comes.  He then declares that the one who would betray him was seated at the table.  All eyes must have darted around the table. Discussion ensued about whom the betrayer was and then a dispute about which one would be regarded as the greatest.  We often do that as humans, in an effort to not confront what lurks below our surface, we run through the list in our heads of why we are pretty “good”.  In the middle of this exchange Jesus turns to Peter and says, “Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat.”  I don’t know about you, but at this point if I was Peter I would be looking at Jesus, the one who calmed the sea, healed diseases, and cast out demons to back that statement up with, but don’t worry….I stopped him!  Or…I won’t let that happen!  But, that is not what was spoken. Jesus said, “but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail and you, when once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”  The sifting happened, the violent shaking to cause what was to remain to remain, and what was not fruit to be sifted, stripped, and pruned out of Peter’s life. 

When I am getting ready to bake a cake, I gather all my ingredients, read the recipe another time, and begin the process.  When I read in the instructions to sift my flour I question it, every time!  I think, “Do I really need to do that?”  The sifter I use is one of those old fashion ones that is metal with a wire mesh at the bottom and a crank handle on the side.  I pour the flour in and begin to crank and the flour that comes out the bottom of the sifter is finer, lighter and fluffier than when it went in.  The reason I want to skip this part is because it takes more time.  It’s an added step and requires dirtying another bowl and the sifter.  But the desired result is worth it.  Sifted flour always makes the cake fluffier and lighter. Sifting does require more time.  In fact I believe we go through seasons of sifting in our lives, as like Peter our Intercessor Jesus stands and prays for us.  That our faith won’t fail.  The result of sifting is a stronger faith, one that we can strengthen others with.

It has been almost two years since we believed God invited us to come to the plains and let Him speak to us.  This has been a season of sifting for us.  I have leaned on the words spoken to Peter and Jesus’ words in John 15 and they have spoken life to me in this sifting season.  It has been painful as the sifting has identified lumps in me that were pride and idols that he wanted to remove. I have grieved and cried as God the perfect gardener prunes and strips those things off of me that are not of him, until the only attachment that is left is the one…me and Him…abiding.

We are a couple weeks away from the wheat harvest here on the Oklahoma plains.  As the big combines roll through the fields doing their work, they will cut, strip, and thrash the wheat until the golden brown kernels of wheat fall almost in submission to be used. And yet have no say in what manner they will be used. With the sifting and with the pruning there comes the promise of faith, fruit, and further usefulness.  Submitting to the process has had a high price but learning what it means that he is my portion and my cup, is priceless.

Still Learning…

With much love,

Kim

Luke 22:31-32, John 15:1-11, Hebrews 12:27, Hebrews 7:25, Psalm 16:5

Peace On Earth

Peace on earth goodwill to men….

Webster's definition of peace; 1. The normal, non-warring condition of a nation, group of nations or the world. 2. A state of mutual harmony between people or groups. 3. The normal freedom from civil commotion and violence of a community. 4. A cessation of freedom from strife or dissension.  If I only look at these definitions to tell me if peace exists, I would have to answer with a resounding, NO! Every one of these statements place peace with the human condition and that just isn't a safe place to base our peace.  I too am guilty of thinking that my peace is tied to the absence of conflict, trials, and hardship in my life. The peace we seek is not earthbound…

I have thought much about peace in the last few days as tragedy and evil ascended on an elementary school, as I visited with a single mom desperately trying to hang on to her home and children, as an abused and weary woman asked for prayer, as I watched a mother who is facing extreme health issues sing praises.  As a little boy, around the age of ten, on his way home from school walked by my house dropping a load of heavy boxes, I asked if I could help him home with them and he cautiously said yes. I helped him pick up the boxes, his books and violin.  I asked him are you wrapping Christmas gifts in all of these boxes?  He hung his head and said, “No, we don’t have any heat at our house, but we have a fireplace and I found these boxes in the trash at school, so I waited until everyone left so I could get them and bring them home to help start a fire.”  I thought of peace when I saw my own grandmother with her Alzheimer induced mind living in anything but.  What about peace for the thousands that live in slavery, abandonment, hunger, and danger everyday?  I asked again of peace last night standing in the cold talking to my new friend Alvin, homeless, alcohol addicted and hungry.  The peace we seek is not earthbound….

The prophet Isaiah prophesied about Jesus coming, saying; “For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us; and the government will rest on His shoulders; and His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.”  Jesus is the Prince of Peace!  When the angels heralded the birth of Jesus they sang praises saying; “Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace among men, with whom He is well pleased.”  The Prince of Peace, Jesus, stepped into our human existence as a man and Peace the person dwelt among us.  When Jesus had finished His task on earth and was on His way to the cross to secure our victory and peace, He spoke these words, “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you.  Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.”  His life here on earth was book-ended with Him as Peace.  This peace is defined as; “rest, the end of striving, this peace is the object of  thedivine and saving promise, and is brought about by God’s mercy, granting deliverance and freedom from all distresses that are a result of sin.”  That is why the message of salvation through Jesus is called the gospel of peace.  The Peace we seek is not earthbound…

This peace we all seek is not found apart from the person of Jesus.  It is not the absence of trials and hardships it is an abiding knowledge of relationship with the Person of Peace, Jesus.  How I live in that…I’m not exactly sure…by faith…  I keep asking the Prince of Peace to show me and to rule over my heart.  This Peace?  It is divine!  The peace we seek is not earthbound….

Praying the Prince of Peace is known this Christmas season and through the coming year.

Merry Christmas!

Kim

Isaiah 9:6, Luke 2:14, Colossians 3:15, John 16:33, John 14:27

Peace on Earth song by Lila Mccann;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWyBCENrLzY

Wimpy Women

I read John Piper’s words again this morning; “Wimpy theology makes wimpy women.  Wimpy theology simply does not give a woman a God that is big enough, strong enough, wise enough, and good enough to handle the realities of life in a way that magnifies the infinite worth of Jesus Christ.  Wimpy theology is plagued by women-centeredness and man-centeredness.  Wimpy theology doesn't have the granite foundation of God’s sovereignty or the solid steel structure of a great God-centered purpose for all things”

I remember a commercial that aired years ago for Hefty trash bags, at the beginning there would be a chorus of soprano voices saying; wimpy, wimpy, wimpy and about that time the trash bag that the woman was struggling with would bust and trash would spill out creating a terrible mess. Then a chorus of very manly baritone voices would say, “hefty, hefty, hefty, and the woman would effortlessly remove the bag and all the contents would stay put.  What a great word picture! Wimpy theology holds nothing; hefty theology holds me and my circumstances because it is based on the truth of who God is.

Several women agreed to join me on this journey this fall.  We looked at Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Ruth, David, and Jehoshaphat and asked simple questions, like who does God say He is? And how do we see God’s redemptive history, as every story we visited showed how God is always about rescuing and redemption.  I have constantly confessed that I don’t want to be a woman who learns theology over and over, saying that with each new circumstance or trial, I must learn the same truth over again. But one who learns theology more and more, deeper and deeper.  I want to be a woman that is not passive with knowledge, but confronts life with the theology He has pressed into me.  That all sounds great doesn't it? But the struggle is that it has challenged me in so many areas of life!  I have had to ask myself why I believe the things I believe and why do I respond the way I do?  Leaving me often in a place that I have to honestly say, my reality doesn't match my theology.  But…that is the process….recognizing more quickly…..running more swiftly…..to Him….His truth….His ways…. We made a list of all the theology He revealed about Himself over the past twelve weeks.  It is lengthy, but it is also faith building, truth centered.  And as I seek to not be a “wimpy woman” a list that I will cling to…pressing forward….Kim

God will do what He says He will do.

God is faithful.

God is provider.

God is redeemer.

God initiates, provides for, and completes redemption.

God displays His lovingkindness.

God strives with man.

God changes our name.

God is sovereign.

God is always writing His story of salvation.

God is with us.

God is passionate about His name.

God is the one true God.

God is a God of providence.

God hears us.

God sees us.

God places His people in positions to trust Him.

God has done everything to secure my victory.

God is the living God.

God always keeps covenant.

God is always about restoration.

God seeks us.

God has power and might in His hands.

God is always for His glory and my good.

Under the Wings of God

I have the sweet privilege to be studying God’s word this fall with some amazing women.  We are taking some of the familiar stories of scripture and asking God to teach us about Himself, to teach us theology and to sink it deep into our hearts.  This week we studied and looked at the beautiful love story of Ruth.  I ran again into a truth that the Lord has been pressing into my life for a few years.  When Boaz says to Ruth, “may the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you fully.”  The wings of God…such imagery…such beauty…such rest!  I remember the precious moment that He let me feel the reality of His wings.

We had traveled to a far away land, to a country that is closed to God and to His life rescuing hand.  Yet up in the mountains of this country there is a pocket of many believers, a result of missionaries that 150 years ago invested…and gave their lives for the people of the area.  We were sent to encourage the body.  Jim would meet with the pastors in the area and I would meet with the pastor’s wives in a retreat setting.  They traveled for miles, some of them three and four days for two days of teaching.  The week was hard spiritually and physically with the conditions we were in.  We came to the end of the week totally spent and fragile.  One of the pastors asked if we would please spend our last evening in his home.  It is against the law for foreigners to be in local’s homes so we went there in the cloak of night, in a torrential rain storm and on a motorcycle!  I remember being on the verge of tears when we arrived and having thoughts that I could not muster up one more ounce of energy.  We walked into their home.  It was modest, mats on the floor, four chairs, a dirt floor kitchen, and a wood burning stove in the middle.  It was rainy and cold, the warmth of the stove felt so good on our wet skin.  But nothing compared to the warmth of the couple that we shared the space with.  The pastor/husband could speak English but the wife could only say a few words.  So everything that was said was said with interpretation.  After entering we were served hot tea and seated on two of the four chairs.  Our hostess then scurried out of the room and reappeared.  She unfurled a beautiful shawl, made with traditional colors of deep burgundy and green.  Her husband explained that she was a weaver and had made the shawl herself.  She would later show us her loom as she sat on the floor, the loom securely on her lap and the tension peddles being controlled by her feet. She came over to me offering me the shawl, she then once again unfurled it, came behind me and wrapped me in the bright colored cloth and her arms, whispering some of the only words she knew in my ear, “be blessed Kim”.  I was wrapped in love.  Under the warmth of this woven treasure I was overwhelmed with the sense of belonging, a place of refuge, a place of care. The Lord used it to heal me that stormy night and to teach me the refuge that is found only under His wings. I kept wrapped in the shawl for the rest of the night and even now often I will make a cup of tea and wrap myself in it.  God’s wings are our refuge, shelter, covering, resting place, a place we can sing for joy.  Learning to not look to anyone or any other place for this is the journey.  Even Jesus stood on top of a hillside over looking Jerusalem and said how He longed to gather them under His wings. 

Learning to stay tucked under His wings.

Be Blessed!

Kim

Psalm 17:8, Psalm 36:7, Psalm 57:1, Psalm 61:4, Psalm 63:7, Psalm 91:4, Duet. 32:11, Matt. 23:37

A beautiful song written based on Ruth 2:12 by a gifted singer/song writer, Mandy Mapes.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OciO_9hk6fA

Wrestling and Walking With A Limp

We gathered this week, these brave women and me.  These women who are pulling up their chairs, opening up God’s book and questioning their theology and it’s relationship to their own dailies. This road is not easy, this asking God to show Himself.  Because He does, He delights in answering that plea…and then…what do you do with that?  God I mean?  When He reveals Himself and truth that is so real that it wrestles you to the ground?

We planted our lives in Genesis 32…

God?

He is full of loving-kindness and faithfulness.

He is the only source of true blessing.

He sometimes has to dislocate us to get us to the blessing.

He is quite big enough to handle our wrestling things out with Him.

He is the one, after all, who initiates the wrestling match.

Jacob?

After wrestling through the night and in excruciating pain from his hip being dislocated is asked to let go.  But could he?  I imagine him clinging, using God just to stay upright and saying, “No! I will not let you go until you bless me.”  What a picture to stay in a clinging position and say No, I will not let you go in the midst of great pain and complete uncertainty.  When asked, “what is your name”, what went though his mind?  His father had asked him that same question some twenty years earlier and he lied!  His name, Jacob, means supplanter, one who takes what he wants using whatever means necessary to get it, by force and or deception.  He had lived up to his name when God found him alone and cloaked in the darkness of night.  In his mind did he attach his answer to what he had done in the past or what he had become in the present?  Don’t we?  How often do I indentify myself with my past mistakes or what I do, or even successes?  Jacob was given a new name, a name that would identify him with God.  His life was preserved, snatched, delivered, and forever changed.  Ours too upon the first encounter with God and multiple days and wrestling encounters along the way. He is constantly wrestling the old out of us so that we can embrace Him and our new name. Oh teach me to live in His identification alone!  Jacob would walk the rest of his life with a limp as a result of the wrestling. A constant reminder, step by step, of what God did on that day.  What’s so wrong with a limp?  I think we are so concerned that everyone thinks we have it all together that we could never let someone see us limp.  Truth?  What we really need to see is each other walking this thing called life, this road full of joys, sorrows, pain, highs and lows, with a limp!

One step at a time.

Blessings,

Kim

Genesis 32, Isaiah 43:1, 2 Corinthians 5:17, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

  

The Question

I don’t even remember when I was first confronted with the question.  All I remember is that it messed with my Christian box that I had everything neatly packed into, along with my expectations and my own perceptions.  There was a time that I had it on a 3X5 card and the time that I had it written on a chalkboard in our home all with the attempts to be sincere in my searching and then it would slip again out of my consciousness.  What is the question?  It is this…Does my reality match my theology?  Even typing it makes me uneasy, because all too often I know the answer.

I have the sweet privilege this fall to study God’s word with a group of ladies that are willing to ask the same question.  We are jumping into scripture together asking to see God more clearly, know Him more fully and to allow Him to form His theology in us. Desiring to not just have more knowledge about God, but to actually know God.  We looked at Genesis 22:1-18 this week, where Abraham is asked to take Isaac and sacrifice him to God.  It is such a hard and brutal story.  And yet, just like our God, beauty flows from something that is unimaginable. 

We grappled with how Abraham loved Isaac and that the word love is the same word in Deuteronomy 6:5, where we are told to love the Lord our God with all your heart and all your soul and with all your might. A love that is directed to and reserved for God, a love that says, “You have all of me”.  We rejoiced with a ram caught in the thicket by it’s horns and recognized that our redemption has been accomplished because a horn of salvation has been raised up for us…Thank You Jesus! (Luke 1:68-69) We squirmed as we wondered why Abraham’s confession that, “they would worship and return”, knowing what Hebrews 11:17-19 tells us about his faith, wasn’t enough to stop what was in play.  Why did they have to walk up the mountain, build an alter, and get to the point of a knife being positioned to plunge into Isaac’s body?   Only to admit that we too have a disconnect between what we say and think and how we respond.  So when life starts to crumble or a circumstance brings us to our knees we don’t confront it with the truth of who God is and our knowledge is passive and not active.   Then, the disconnect remains between my reality and my theology.  Life requires action and not just words.

We saw God this morning in all His glory; His desire to pull us into a closer relationship with Himself, through the harshness.  His beautiful provision, His name is Provider! His desire to rescue, which has always been His plan.  We heard the name Jesus whispered, well shouted loudly really, in an only son being offered, in a ram caught in a thicket, and in a substitute sacrifice.

There has been a paragraph on a page in a book that intersected my life a couple of years ago.  I have it highlighted in bright pink and I have read it multiple times in the past year of life.  In speaking about great women theologians it reads; “They were serious about knowing Him and studied the Scriptures with that intention.  They nurtured their faith on the truth of God’s character so that, instead of starting over from scratch in each new situation, wondering if God’s goodness had expired or if He had somehow lost control, these women fixed their eyes on Him and actually put their weight down on the truth.  No matter what the challenge or the adversity their ironclad conviction was that He is always good, is always on His throne, is always working, always knows what He is doing, and that His love for them never stops.  They were not passive with their knowledge but consciously took it up and confronted life with it.  Their hearts were strong because they were sure of God.  It made a difference in their running, and what is more because their eyes were fixed on Jesus, they were better wives, mother, daughters, and friends.” From: When Life and Beliefs Collide by Carolyn Custis James

I want to be that kind of woman!

To those that I’m walking this out with….thanks for journeying with me and I’m sorry that it doesn’t always look pretty! To those who are reading this and are on the same quest….hey sister!

Learning what it means to put my weight down on truth.

Blessings,

Kim

Walking Upright

    The place had to be crowded that day! After all it was the Sabbath, the day that all devout people…religious people…came to the synagogue…the church house. Why did she come? What possessed her to be there? Did she come every week? Was she looking for relief or was she simply doing the thing that you are supposed to do? I want the inside scoop! I can’t even imagine her surprise when the man who was teaching that day, called over to her, across the crowd, to come to him. What made her different from everyone else that day? She was a woman that had been dealing with a sickness for eighteen long years. This sickness was unusual to be sure; she was bent over and unable to straighten up. Everyone must have known this woman around town; we tend to focus on oddities as human beings. This sickness, this oddity, was caused by a spirit and kept her in a position of being bent, held down, unable to stand up straight and walk erect. Jesus spoke to her that day, with the same voice that spoke the world into existence, “Woman, you are freed from your sickness”. He then laid His hands on her and immediately she was made erect!

     Jesus called her a daughter of Abraham, that was WHO she was! Because I am "in Christ", my position is secure! There is nothing that the enemy of my soul can do about my position in Christ, so his attempts are always to keep me bent over so that I can’t walk upright in the fullness of who I am in Christ. I have been this woman! Multiple times I have recognized that I was living bent over, carrying around guilt, shame, past hurts and bitterness on my back; all the while talking to myself, “just straighten up and get it together, Kim!” I was completely unable to talk or will myself into walking upright. In the past year Jesus has been lovingly showing me the things that have kept me bent over and touching those places so that I can walk upright. I have been known to do my Braveheart impression of screaming F-R-E-E-D-O-M at the top of my lungs!! I do it in the privacy of my home, but Jesus hears it and I know the full meaning of it! How often do we keep doing the things we are supposed to do, walking bent, while Jesus wants us to hear Him speak and rest in His completed action of the cross…our salvation….our redemption…our freedom.

      Even in this His Sovereignty shines through. Had I never walked bent over, I would never know the goodness of walking upright!

His truth, my good, 
Kim 

 Luke 13:10-17, Galatians 5:1