We have just returned from a land far away, a land where roads are named after silk, a land where my feet love to walk, and a land where red lanterns sway in doorways, alleyways, and storefronts.
Once again I left pieces of my heart on Asian soil. And I wonder, will there be a day when no piece remains? Could I even hope and dream that the sum total of the the pieces of my heart would be torn and spent? I have again returned with less than what I left with, but somehow more. This is a great mystery to me.
This is the third time we have been asked to enter into the discussion of marriage and family. The daily workings of living gospel centered and how that works itself and it's power in to our daily lives, marriages, families, and churches. The invitation always causes us to tremble and the actual conversation makes us keenly aware that we are nothing and have nothing to bring to this table but Him, His word, and two messed up vessels that long to be clean and usable. And two vessels that are trying desperately to understand this truth daily also.
So we speak His truth. We wait. We wait on Him and we watch. We watch Him. We watch Him take His word and apply it to lives. And, there is where the beauty is. In the midst of this unfolding story we are certain most days we don't have what it takes. We find ourselves uncomfortable, sitting in the dirt of our own selves and plagued with "first world" inconveniences. And even there He doesn't shy away from us, He gently says; "will you trust Me?".
I have heard their stories. Stories of hardship, trials, and persecution. And my soul is embarrassed and ashamed of my discontentment. I have heard the declaration of joy of having been found worthy to suffer for their Lord. We teach some days six to eight hours. They think we have come to teach them, but we always leave knowing we came so that He could teach us. Teach us more about Himself, His power, His sufficiency, and His faithfulness. And, He did.....
We watched Him change hearts and minds as they considered the gospel being the reason for all. We watched Him open up the ears and mouths of translators. We watched Him bring conviction and repentance to husbands and wives. We watched Him bring brokenness. We watched Him answer prayer. We watched Him change marriages, families, and churches. We watched Him provide opportunity to share the story with those who had never heard it or the Name that is above every name! We watched....He worked....
In one testimony a man shared that he had despised his wife their entire 20 plus year marriage. He saw her as a detriment and holding him back. He told of how God had convicted him. He publicly confessed and repented in front of everyone. He said that he wanted to receive his wife as a gift that God had given him and together he desired for them to live, letting God write His story using their lives and marriage. He said that he had asked God to forgive him. He then turned to his wife, who was dripping tears, put his arm around her and asked her to forgive him in front of a crowded, watchful room. He reached in his pocket and removed his handkerchief, gently he wiped her tears as he spoke words of love to her. From pain and hardness because of confession and repentance, flowed a beautiful brokenness. We could all almost smell the sweet aroma in the air.
We watched....He worked...
He worked on me as well, as He continues to teach me that pieces of heart invested in others and a willingness to be torn is really what surrender looks like. Keeping no pieces for self.
We began our journey in the early hours of a July morning watching the sun rise and we ended our journey on an August evening watching the sun set like a giant red lantern in the sky. Father displaying His majesty and faithfulness. He opened the door to this journey and He closed the door.
Pieces of my heart forever torn and left in the land where red lanterns sway.
Empty yet full....
Still learning,
Kim
Once again I left pieces of my heart on Asian soil. And I wonder, will there be a day when no piece remains? Could I even hope and dream that the sum total of the the pieces of my heart would be torn and spent? I have again returned with less than what I left with, but somehow more. This is a great mystery to me.
This is the third time we have been asked to enter into the discussion of marriage and family. The daily workings of living gospel centered and how that works itself and it's power in to our daily lives, marriages, families, and churches. The invitation always causes us to tremble and the actual conversation makes us keenly aware that we are nothing and have nothing to bring to this table but Him, His word, and two messed up vessels that long to be clean and usable. And two vessels that are trying desperately to understand this truth daily also.
So we speak His truth. We wait. We wait on Him and we watch. We watch Him. We watch Him take His word and apply it to lives. And, there is where the beauty is. In the midst of this unfolding story we are certain most days we don't have what it takes. We find ourselves uncomfortable, sitting in the dirt of our own selves and plagued with "first world" inconveniences. And even there He doesn't shy away from us, He gently says; "will you trust Me?".
I have heard their stories. Stories of hardship, trials, and persecution. And my soul is embarrassed and ashamed of my discontentment. I have heard the declaration of joy of having been found worthy to suffer for their Lord. We teach some days six to eight hours. They think we have come to teach them, but we always leave knowing we came so that He could teach us. Teach us more about Himself, His power, His sufficiency, and His faithfulness. And, He did.....
We watched Him change hearts and minds as they considered the gospel being the reason for all. We watched Him open up the ears and mouths of translators. We watched Him bring conviction and repentance to husbands and wives. We watched Him bring brokenness. We watched Him answer prayer. We watched Him change marriages, families, and churches. We watched Him provide opportunity to share the story with those who had never heard it or the Name that is above every name! We watched....He worked....
In one testimony a man shared that he had despised his wife their entire 20 plus year marriage. He saw her as a detriment and holding him back. He told of how God had convicted him. He publicly confessed and repented in front of everyone. He said that he wanted to receive his wife as a gift that God had given him and together he desired for them to live, letting God write His story using their lives and marriage. He said that he had asked God to forgive him. He then turned to his wife, who was dripping tears, put his arm around her and asked her to forgive him in front of a crowded, watchful room. He reached in his pocket and removed his handkerchief, gently he wiped her tears as he spoke words of love to her. From pain and hardness because of confession and repentance, flowed a beautiful brokenness. We could all almost smell the sweet aroma in the air.
We watched....He worked...
He worked on me as well, as He continues to teach me that pieces of heart invested in others and a willingness to be torn is really what surrender looks like. Keeping no pieces for self.
We began our journey in the early hours of a July morning watching the sun rise and we ended our journey on an August evening watching the sun set like a giant red lantern in the sky. Father displaying His majesty and faithfulness. He opened the door to this journey and He closed the door.
Pieces of my heart forever torn and left in the land where red lanterns sway.
Empty yet full....
Still learning,
Kim
