In His Hands

She calls me, “my momma D” and I call her “my Bella Boo”. I am convinced her sole reason for being given to us is to steal my heart. She will turn three in a couple of weeks and with that comes so many things that come with being two-almost-three. She loves pretend play; in fact I’m pretty sure Buzz Light-year, Woody, and Jesse were all at our table at some point over the Thanksgiving holiday. She loves books, running, and singing….and….I love her! She is also at the point in her little toddler life that she loves to assert her independence. I heard often the words, “I do it by self, Momma D”. Now, I know she meant to say, I will do it myself, but when you’re two-almost-three, your sentences kind of come out in code and it is up to the adults around you to figure it out! On one such occasion we were about to cross a busy street, Jill had the baby and multiple other things in her hands, so she said to Bella, “take Momma D’s hand”. Bella looked at me, crossed her arms across her chest and said….you guessed it, “I do it by self, Momma D.” Which I just responded, "not this time,sweetie", grabbed her chubby hand and crossed the street. I kind of giggled to myself as I thought about my daughter raising this little strong-willed, brown eyed, delight. She was not ugly or throwing a fit as she stated her independence, just very confident that she was capable and strong enough for the task. I know the type, I have raised one myself, and to be completely honest, I am one myself! God has shown me over and over how I always try to be the strong one and am convinced that with the right planning, surly I will be capable enough to pull off or fix whatever is necessary. WARNING: This is a lie, it does not work, and should not be attempted at home…or any place for that matter!

As I grabbed Bella’s hand that day, a story that I was told years ago came to my mind. Jim and I knew an elderly pastor that visited our church when we were first married. He told a story of how he wanted to take his granddaughter out to play in the snow; it was the first snow of the season, and she could not wait to get out in it! The porch had iced over during the night and was dangerous if one was not cautious. He told his granddaughter to take his hand. She would grab her grandpa’s hand, only able to clutch a couple of his fingers. Inevitably, she would slip off and he would catch her, before she fell and hurt herself. This happened a few times and then he said, “instead of grabbing grandpa’s hand, let me take hold of your hand.” He held out his big hand and she placed her little hand inside of his. As he grasped her hand, it totally disappeared inside of his. As they walked across the ice covered porch, her feet slipped and wiggled but she never fell because he had her and she was going nowhere outside of his control.

In this season that I find myself in I am in control of nothing and I cannot plan the next step. Not one part of it plays to my strengths and my weaknesses are glaring like a flashing neon sign! How often have I looked at my heavenly Father and said,” I do it by self.” Oh that I would let my hands, plans, and weaknesses disappear in His hand and find rest in the fact that the Blessed Controller of all things has me in His hands.

John 10:27-30, Psalm 37:23-24