You don't have to have lived many years to know hurt. It comes in a multitude of packages.
From little hurts, like an unkind word spoken, or the friend that won't return your phone call for some unknown reason. Even though little, they still scrape us and we need to give them attention so that they don't become infected. Much like a child's scraped knee, we can clean them, put a little ointment on them, and be on our way. Then there are those other hurts, the hurts that inflict wounds. They are not surface scrapes that can be dealt with in a matter of moments. These wounds leave holes in us, sometimes deep into our souls. Betrayal, abuse, manipulation, violation, loss, lost trust, and lies leave gaping holes. Even if we receive healing and become healthy again we are never the same. Yet, in God's economy, He somehow takes these wounds, these things that seem ruined, and makes something beautiful out of them. When forgiveness can flow through the ruin and the beauty He reveals Himself.
Forgiveness is a beautiful word when we are thinking about Christ and His forgiveness of our sins. It becomes a very hard word when we are in the position of needing to forgive someone's sin against us. We assume that if we forgive our offenders they will be not be held responsible for their actions and we will be the only one suffering. Or we think if we forgive them that means that we will have to go back to the relationship the way it was. Both are not true statements. God is the one who gets to hold people accountable for their actions....NOT ME! He makes that clear in His word. Although God asks us to forgive others as He has forgiven us, He never told us to keep trusting someone who has violated us or to keep pretending like nothing happened.
Forgiveness is an action. Ephesians 4:32 says; " be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." If we were practicing the first part of this verse, the "being kind and tender-hearted" part, we probably would never get to the having to forgive part. Forgiveness towards those that have scraped us or wounded us is not a option. It is a command and a choice of obedience. Based upon one glorious truth, I have been forgiven. There is no way to measure the forgiveness of my Lord towards my life, it is limitless, and free flowing. So should mine be....
Forgiveness is a process. He asks me to make the choice, take the action, and forgive. Because He knows that I am but flesh and blood, He then walks me through the process. As I recognize the hurt, I must consciously release it to His hands of love and justice. I know this is a process and not an event because it must happen over and over. In the process He teaches me how to more fully abide in Him and not in the hurt. As abiding takes place His life produces the fruit which is that beauty from ashes thing that only He can do.
Forgiveness is a practice. It is how we are to treat one another. Forgiveness is like so many other qualities that God desires to press into our lives, like humility and patience, but these qualities don't just somehow appear. As we participate with the Spirit, He gives us His ability to see and respond. I don't have the ability to forgive, but because He is the Forgiver, and living in me, He gives everything that is needed for me to extend forgiveness to someone. Then, I must walk in it... Practice it.
Oh it's hard! I want justice. I want validation, I want someone to recognize and be sorry for the hurt. I want someone else to hurt. But each time that my fingers are peeled away from the hurt that I'm desperately trying to hang on to, (because I have found some kind of identification with the wound) and I place it in the hand of the only One who can do anything about it, "IT",the offense, the person, the wound, the hurt with all of it's oozing poison releases it's grip on me. It's in running the thing to Him and entrusting it to His hand that I find freedom and know Him more.
And... In some way that my human mind or limited vocabulary can not express or understand...
It. Is. Worth. It. I didn't say that on day one or two, or possibly day 456! But it did come. Because he came, He came right into the middle of the yuck, the putrid, and oozing thing! Have you asked Him in friend? Or, are you trying to pretend? Or, trying to keep everything all together? Thinking that if you ignore the wound it will somehow heal on it's own? It won't... He knows about it, and He sees you and "IT", and He is waiting for you to be ready to release it to Him. Ruin only turns to beauty when He has a hold of it and forgiveness flows through it.
When I was a young woman with 2 little babies, a very wise and older woman said these words to me and a room of young women and they have stuck to my soul, "whatever gets you to Jesus will be worth it". She was right. Loss, trial, relationships, hurt, and wounds get me to Jesus, and it has been worth it.
Still learning to abide,
Kim
Ephesians 4:1-3, 4:32 and Colossians 3:12-13
From little hurts, like an unkind word spoken, or the friend that won't return your phone call for some unknown reason. Even though little, they still scrape us and we need to give them attention so that they don't become infected. Much like a child's scraped knee, we can clean them, put a little ointment on them, and be on our way. Then there are those other hurts, the hurts that inflict wounds. They are not surface scrapes that can be dealt with in a matter of moments. These wounds leave holes in us, sometimes deep into our souls. Betrayal, abuse, manipulation, violation, loss, lost trust, and lies leave gaping holes. Even if we receive healing and become healthy again we are never the same. Yet, in God's economy, He somehow takes these wounds, these things that seem ruined, and makes something beautiful out of them. When forgiveness can flow through the ruin and the beauty He reveals Himself.
Forgiveness is a beautiful word when we are thinking about Christ and His forgiveness of our sins. It becomes a very hard word when we are in the position of needing to forgive someone's sin against us. We assume that if we forgive our offenders they will be not be held responsible for their actions and we will be the only one suffering. Or we think if we forgive them that means that we will have to go back to the relationship the way it was. Both are not true statements. God is the one who gets to hold people accountable for their actions....NOT ME! He makes that clear in His word. Although God asks us to forgive others as He has forgiven us, He never told us to keep trusting someone who has violated us or to keep pretending like nothing happened.
Forgiveness is an action. Ephesians 4:32 says; " be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." If we were practicing the first part of this verse, the "being kind and tender-hearted" part, we probably would never get to the having to forgive part. Forgiveness towards those that have scraped us or wounded us is not a option. It is a command and a choice of obedience. Based upon one glorious truth, I have been forgiven. There is no way to measure the forgiveness of my Lord towards my life, it is limitless, and free flowing. So should mine be....
Forgiveness is a process. He asks me to make the choice, take the action, and forgive. Because He knows that I am but flesh and blood, He then walks me through the process. As I recognize the hurt, I must consciously release it to His hands of love and justice. I know this is a process and not an event because it must happen over and over. In the process He teaches me how to more fully abide in Him and not in the hurt. As abiding takes place His life produces the fruit which is that beauty from ashes thing that only He can do.
Forgiveness is a practice. It is how we are to treat one another. Forgiveness is like so many other qualities that God desires to press into our lives, like humility and patience, but these qualities don't just somehow appear. As we participate with the Spirit, He gives us His ability to see and respond. I don't have the ability to forgive, but because He is the Forgiver, and living in me, He gives everything that is needed for me to extend forgiveness to someone. Then, I must walk in it... Practice it.
Oh it's hard! I want justice. I want validation, I want someone to recognize and be sorry for the hurt. I want someone else to hurt. But each time that my fingers are peeled away from the hurt that I'm desperately trying to hang on to, (because I have found some kind of identification with the wound) and I place it in the hand of the only One who can do anything about it, "IT",the offense, the person, the wound, the hurt with all of it's oozing poison releases it's grip on me. It's in running the thing to Him and entrusting it to His hand that I find freedom and know Him more.
And... In some way that my human mind or limited vocabulary can not express or understand...
It. Is. Worth. It. I didn't say that on day one or two, or possibly day 456! But it did come. Because he came, He came right into the middle of the yuck, the putrid, and oozing thing! Have you asked Him in friend? Or, are you trying to pretend? Or, trying to keep everything all together? Thinking that if you ignore the wound it will somehow heal on it's own? It won't... He knows about it, and He sees you and "IT", and He is waiting for you to be ready to release it to Him. Ruin only turns to beauty when He has a hold of it and forgiveness flows through it.
When I was a young woman with 2 little babies, a very wise and older woman said these words to me and a room of young women and they have stuck to my soul, "whatever gets you to Jesus will be worth it". She was right. Loss, trial, relationships, hurt, and wounds get me to Jesus, and it has been worth it.
Still learning to abide,
Kim
Ephesians 4:1-3, 4:32 and Colossians 3:12-13
Thank you sweet friend and mentor. I love your words of wisdom and encouragement. You are a blessing to so many and I am so thankful for you and Jim! Love, Sarah A
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