Let's get truthful....
We all have difficult people in our lives! Can I get a witness? The difficult comes in different packages and in varied ranges. From the person who cuts in front of you at the grocery store, or that one who has 496 items in the 20 or less check-out. (that last one gets me EVERY TIME!) Or maybe your difficult person is in your family or a neighbor or co-worker. This person could be one who is pushy, domineering, wants to control you, a know-it-all, inconsiderate, hurtful in their words, betrays your friendship, the list can go on and on and the level of hurt can cut deeper and deeper. They can be the person we have never met or they could be a person up close and personal, which is where the deeper and deeper scenerio comes in. I have grappled with some of the same questions you have. Jesus' words ringing in my ears to love God and love people. Constantly asking what does that look like? What does that kind of love say and do? We are, as followers of Jesus, asked to deny ourselves, pick up our cross (identify ourselves with our Savior), and follow Him. There is not a pat answer, oh how I wish there was, it is much easier for me to live with a list! If I have a list then I live by the list instead of by the One who made me and gave me the relationships. I have come to believe that denying self sometimes requires saying nothing AND sometimes the highest form of love and denying self is speaking a hard truth for the sake of another. Speaking's motivation is always desiring God's highest good for another, which takes me out of the equation, my feelings and thoughts, and puts God's desires for another above my own. I think it means granting access with authenticity and vulnerability with some AND creating boundaries. He gets to tell us what His will is in each situation and each relationship. But, if we are not walking with Him and our ear is not attuned to His voice then we will not hear His direction. Hard?...yep.... Worth it?....Yes.
I have been taking this year to re-read some of the words written by men and women that God has used in my life to mentor and disciple me. One of those women is Elisabeth Elliot. Her words on difficult people spoke to me once again as they did years ago. "How can this person who so annoys or offends me be God's messenger? Is God so unkind as to send that sort of person across my path? Insofar as his/her treatment of me requires more kindness than I can find in my own heart, demands love of a quality I do not possess, asks of me patience that only the Spirit of God can produce in me, he/she is God's messenger. God sends him/her in order that he/she may send me running to God for help."
Perspective? or Perspective Shift?
Jim has called people like described above as, "holy sandpaper". The likeness is not lost on me, sandpaper is rough, abrasive, hard...(fill in your own adjectives) but sandpaper has a purpose, it's purpose is to sand off rough places of whatever it touches. So the possibility exists that the difficult-sandpaper-people are sanding off rough places of me.
Oh that my perspective would be swallowed up in Jesus'.
Always learning,
Kim
We all have difficult people in our lives! Can I get a witness? The difficult comes in different packages and in varied ranges. From the person who cuts in front of you at the grocery store, or that one who has 496 items in the 20 or less check-out. (that last one gets me EVERY TIME!) Or maybe your difficult person is in your family or a neighbor or co-worker. This person could be one who is pushy, domineering, wants to control you, a know-it-all, inconsiderate, hurtful in their words, betrays your friendship, the list can go on and on and the level of hurt can cut deeper and deeper. They can be the person we have never met or they could be a person up close and personal, which is where the deeper and deeper scenerio comes in. I have grappled with some of the same questions you have. Jesus' words ringing in my ears to love God and love people. Constantly asking what does that look like? What does that kind of love say and do? We are, as followers of Jesus, asked to deny ourselves, pick up our cross (identify ourselves with our Savior), and follow Him. There is not a pat answer, oh how I wish there was, it is much easier for me to live with a list! If I have a list then I live by the list instead of by the One who made me and gave me the relationships. I have come to believe that denying self sometimes requires saying nothing AND sometimes the highest form of love and denying self is speaking a hard truth for the sake of another. Speaking's motivation is always desiring God's highest good for another, which takes me out of the equation, my feelings and thoughts, and puts God's desires for another above my own. I think it means granting access with authenticity and vulnerability with some AND creating boundaries. He gets to tell us what His will is in each situation and each relationship. But, if we are not walking with Him and our ear is not attuned to His voice then we will not hear His direction. Hard?...yep.... Worth it?....Yes.
I have been taking this year to re-read some of the words written by men and women that God has used in my life to mentor and disciple me. One of those women is Elisabeth Elliot. Her words on difficult people spoke to me once again as they did years ago. "How can this person who so annoys or offends me be God's messenger? Is God so unkind as to send that sort of person across my path? Insofar as his/her treatment of me requires more kindness than I can find in my own heart, demands love of a quality I do not possess, asks of me patience that only the Spirit of God can produce in me, he/she is God's messenger. God sends him/her in order that he/she may send me running to God for help."
Perspective? or Perspective Shift?
Jim has called people like described above as, "holy sandpaper". The likeness is not lost on me, sandpaper is rough, abrasive, hard...(fill in your own adjectives) but sandpaper has a purpose, it's purpose is to sand off rough places of whatever it touches. So the possibility exists that the difficult-sandpaper-people are sanding off rough places of me.
Oh that my perspective would be swallowed up in Jesus'.
Always learning,
Kim
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